What I feel and what I believe. Sometimes, they're not the same.

I had a hard night last night. I have had a lot of hard nights lately.

I often lie awake, frustrated. Feeling defeated. Exhausted. Heartbroken.

I cry. A lot.

And I drink an awful lot of coffee in the morning.

I've been pouring over the Psalms lately, and I'm finding comfort in them. My feelings aren't new. I'm not alone in them. And they don't surprise God. He's heard about these things before. From me. From others.

There's nothing new here. What I'm going through isn't new.

Savoring the moments I do have, instead of being upset about the moments I don't have is helping me to get through this season of heartache. Deliberately choosing to look for joy in normal, everyday places helps, too. I'm choosing to let go of the things that don't really matter, and I'm holding on tight to the things that really do matter.

I believe in hope.

I believe in miracles.

 I believe in hard work.

I believe in making sacrifices.

I believe in loving with my whole heart.

I believe in making time for what matters.

I believe in letting myself feel emotions.

I believe in choosing joy despite how my emotions make me feel.

I believe in tears. Happy ones and sad ones.

I believe that today can be better than yesterday.

And I believe in the promise of tomorrow.

"We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love be with us, Lord, even as we put our hope in you."

Psalm 33: 20-22