"The 'scratch' that satisfies my itch"

I feel so silly. Moments before starting this post, tears were running down my face, my nose began to fill up, and my face turned red from the strain of it all. It's been four hours. That's it. Four hours since I dropped Joey off at the airport. And somehow all I can do is think about how much I miss him. Already. After only four hours.

We've only been married for seven months, but somehow in that short span of time we have created a new standard of peace, comfort, and normalcy. Without him around, I feel sort of incomplete, like something essential for survival has been taken from me, like I can't quite catch my breath.

After trying to distract myself in the living room for a few hours, I finally resigned myself to the fact that it was ok to go to bed at 9:00. When I pulled down the sheets, I saw a note waiting for me. It said, "I love you. I miss you. You're the "scratch" that satisfies my itch." The note was made twice as sweet by the double meaning of "scratch." We may be the only couple on the face of the earth that don't call each other babe, honey, hun, sweetie, or anything remotely similar. But Joey does call me Scratch. Why? Somehow he derived it from Rachel (Rach ... Ratchet ... Scratchel ... Scratch. Ah, the evolution.) Anyway, I give him a hard time about pet names sometimes because I feel the urge to call him something special, something other than what everyone else in the world calls him. Joey is great; it's his name, and I'm happy to call him that, but it's not anything special. Having him call me Rach is fine, too. I don't mind at all. But again, it's nothing special. For him to call me Scratch and to make it meaningful instead of just playful touched my heart. I needed that.

It's pretty easy for me to be distracted by things, to become preoccupied with something and let my mind dwell on it. Tonight? My mind was dwelling on the fact that I missed Joey, and feeling insecure about it. I felt silly for missing him so much, silly because I was sure he didn't miss me even half as much, and frustrated that I couldn't just ignore my feelings and get on with my evening. After I found the note, I realized that my heart needs a tender reminder that there is a love that is constant no matter what crazy emotion I may feel on a given day. In a way, he is the scratch that satisfies my itch, too. We all have itches. We all have needs and desires that can become irritants in our lives, feelings that we cannot seem to shake or get rid of no matter what we do on our own. To have someone who helps satisfy those itches? Priceless.