Choosing Joy

Why is it that things always seem worse in the shower? When there's something on my mind, the power of the thought is tenfold when I'm in there. Things seem their bleakest then, like there's no hope, and like the world will be crashing in around me as soon as I step out from behind the curtain. Maybe it's the complete aloneness of being in the shower that frees me to give my feelings room to just be for a moment. And giving them a moment to express themselves without reservation or judgement can be cathartic because, as soon as I step out of the shower, I discover that the world doesn't come crashing down. It keeps moving, spinning round and round, always pushing forward to what's next.



As is probably evident by now, my mind has been running circles around me for the past couple of days. In some moments, I'm completely fine, and in others, I am not.  Because of this, I've learned in a very practical way what it means to take my thoughts captive, to not let them have free reign to dance around my head, mocking me at every turn.

I've also learned what it means to choose joy.  When I choose joy, it doesn't mean that I'm immediately happy. When I choose joy, it doesn't mean that the other feelings disappear completely. What it does mean, though, is that in the middle of whatever it is I'm going through, whether it's worry or frustration or discouragement or whatever, I can take heart in the knowledge that there is more than what my eyes can see. Like Dr. Foth said at church this Sunday--things aren't always what they seem. To some, a stick in the hand of an 10-year-old boy might look like it's exactly that--just a stick, when really, it's something else (like a fishing pole, a light saber, or a baseball bat). What we see as circumstantial, ordinary, or just plain mundane--God sees it as something else. To take it a step further, what we see as difficult, painful, worrisome or fearful--God see it as an opportunity to grow our faith, expand our joy, and develop character (among other things, I'm sure).

So this week, I'm practicing choosing joy. I'm choosing to see beyond my circumstances, to focus my attention on truth, and to allow the peace that surpasses understanding do exactly that--surpass my understanding.